Follow up to 'Please leave me alone u selfish bastard'

I've just remembered what I actually wanted to write about on my last blog but forgot as I was too drunk.

Coincidentally enough I am tipsy again, but I least I remember, yet it turns out it wasn't really that intelligent after all.

Oh well, might as well spit it out now:

After the whole fiasco with my ex, I was still determined to go to my gym, as hadnt been for at least 3 weeks, and told myself if I dont sort it out now, I'll end up never going again. So I go to the reception at my gym to sign myself in (basically, we write our names in the register - bit like a visitors' register), and noticed a horribly familiar name on the register a few spaces above where I had just signed in.

Now, I can't be 100% certain it's the person i thought it was, as they only wrote the initial of their first name followed by surname, a surname which is very common in England.

Still it narked me a bit, because if it was the person I thought it was, it would mean that I now go to the same gym as the bloody person I crashed into a couple of years ago - AS IF I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH MAN TROUBLE!!

Granted, it was only a minor collision which took part in a car park (basically 'twat head' was goin very fast in his f*%kin BMW, I couldnt see shit as had 4 x4's parked either side of me, but because I was the one who was 'supposed' to give way, I was the liable one).

So, as you can imagine, I spent the rest of the gym session looking over my shoulder - I cant even remember what the motherf*%ker looks like. Scary thought.

But enough about the man we dont know for certain is the one I crashed into: it was wasnt all doom and gloom this week.

I did find enough time to go out, get drunk, have a boogy in some gay club (the best club in my town - and that's comin from a straight person!), go to some house party, go back to my mates house, nurse her back to health as she kept passing out in bathroom or throwing up (real classy lady).

Apart from that, it's been a pretty hectic, shite week.

Now I ponder how this week will flow with the possibility of having to share gym with man I crashed into (what if he says something to me or starts some shit? He was a bit of a hard looking person after all)...

That and the fact that my ex, after been arrested this week (for 3rd time), has again been released on bail.

Really looking forward to this week....

PS Had really Perverse dream (night I went out for boogy - coincidentally with my former colleague) about my former colleague's son, who is ONLY 17!! I am 26. Dreamt that he was kissing and playing with my udders.

Wrong, wrong, WRONNNNGGGGG!!!!!

Please leave me alone, u selfish bastard

Seriously, I don't know if I'll ever have a normal week again (btw I am slightly tipsy after a couple glasses of wine so apologies if I talk too much crap!). Why? because my fucking ex just won't leave me alone!!! Argh!!

Once again I have to contact the police as ex tried to force his way into the house the other day - this was after chasing me around the car park when I ended up having to go to my neighbours to ask if I could use their phone to call the police.......

Why wont he leave me alone to live my life??

I have now totally forgotten what I was gonna type - I am so sure it was gonna be something intelligent.... maybe that last glass of wine was not such a good idea after all...

Oh well, I shall go and sleep on it - maybe it will come back to me.

PS I could do with one of those stress cows pictured above right now...

Ying Yang day

Today was a bit a of yingyang day, as I had some good moments as well as seriously crap moments:
I manage to wake up on time (just, mindya) to go and take part in a fun run - well I say fun run but it is in fact a 10k run located in a rather hilly village/town. Was rather chuffed at the fact that I managed to run 10k in 56mins though, despite the cold weather and numerous bodies competing with me. Must admit it was a beautiful sight to watch crowds of people running in unison towards one destination: the finish line - was like watching a herd of sheep being reared by an invisible force. Speaking of sheep, I nearly ran into some during the race - evil looking cretins they were...
After running I went food shopping with one of my relatives, looking forward to easy afternoon, having lunch at my relatives, doing a bit of housework then just relaxing rest of the day.
However as I got to the checkout I knew something wasn't right as my relative looked past me in a stunned manner.
I looked behind me and realised why:
My F*!CKING ex was stood behind me - had probably been following me round the supermarket the whole time.
And of course he starts the bullshit 'why wont you talk to/forgive me? why wont you give me another chance??', etc.

Because you keep bloody stalking me you freak!!

I hate talking this way about him, but all I want is for him to leave me alone.

Arghh!!!

So, like I said, it was a day with some good and shite moments - hence yingyang!

Even stars get taken to the slaughterhouse.....

Shock horror or what?!

Yep, you may have also noticed that the celebs are starting to drop like flies this year: First Jade Goode (British Big Brother contestant who died of cervical cancer - in case u never heard of her), Farah Fawcett, Michael Jackson and now that Boyzone dude Steve Gates, who died at 33 years.

I'M GONNA BE 33 IN A COUPLE YEARS TIME!!! AM I GONNA DIE THAT YOUNG TOO??

Maybe I should consider writing up a will (all my stuff shall be inherited by my cat, as I have no calves/offspring), go live in the mountains, bubble wrap myself, spend rest of my life panicking about death....

Okay, calm down now....

Does make you think how short life really is, and how you should make the most of day (try telling that to the bloody taxman and businessman who's only interested in scroungin evry penny off ya!).

Yet here I am sat behind my little laptop - living life to the full man!!!

Close my eyes and I'll be there by your side....

I really thought I would never write about my ex again.

However I had a pretty weird dream last night - about my ex-fiance no less.

It was so surreal, it was like we never broke up.

Don't really remember alot.

What I do remember is that he was hugging, kissing me alot and we were happy.

Yet when I woke up from the dream I felt guilt.

Reason for guilt: how would my relatives react if I got back with him?

I do miss him and think about him alot, but I will never let him know this, as I know he would see it as a signal that I want to get back with him.

I would love to take him back, but I know I can't love a man who does not trust or respect me.

I certainly can't love a man if I'm scared about what reaction he may have whenever I tell him I'm going out, or travelling to another city as part of my job. I can't love a man that wants to control me or make me feel subservient.


The song in youtube vid reminds me of him alot, reminds me of the good times we had. Sadly his attitude outweighs the good times.

Sorry babe, I really wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, but not if it meant being controlled by you and not being able to have my own opinion.

Bit of a soppy posting I know, but I just had to get it off my chest and there's no way in hell I could share this with my friends or relatives without them judging me or saying I'm being stupid.

Time for bed now I think (it is now past midnight my end)

4 Stomachs

In general most people (unless you're an over enthusiastic dairy farmer) see cows as just plain little domesticated beasts that chew on grass all day and squirt calcium out of their little quartet of nipples.

But when u dig a little deeper, you'll realise there's a bit more to them than meets the eye.
One thing I recently discovered about cows (some of you are now gonna think I'm well thick and naive like Ali G when he saw a cow for the first time), is the fact they have 4 stomachs.

WTF do you need 4 stomachs for??!!! Seriously! It's not as if cows have a rich and varied diet - only exception being the poor heffers that developed mad cow disease - then again I'd probably go crazy if I just found out my farmer had been feeding me the remains of my bloody relatives all this time. Still, 4 stomachs for digesting grass - it's no wonder they produce funky poo which makes lovely compost...

Tell u what I could do with an extra stomach right now as have eaten way too much junk and now feel slightly sick. Having said that I wonder if I'd be twice as big if I had 2 stomachs.

Now that's a disturbing thought....